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Nigel Buxton Update
Pass the glue, I am coming unstuck! |
January 5, 2006 |
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Dear Nigel,
Welcome to the first Update of 2006. My best wishes
for a year of good health and prosperity, and lots of
energy to make those dreams become reality!
And a special welcome to new subscribers. If you
want to see previous Updates, you can find them here.
How often do you justify your actions to yourself
and others saying, "This is the way I am"?
Do you accept yourself this way because it is
convenient or because you do not believe that it is
possible to change?
When crisis hits – broken marriage, loss of job,
absorption of your company by a larger one (as in the
case of a dear friend) – you have two ways to go.
You can collapse and be the victim, "Oh poor me,
why did it happen to me?". Or, you can take the
challenge and make a new start from it. Either way
you cannot change the events, but you can change
what you make of them. Life does go on. I have
known two entrepreneurs who lost their factories in
fires. One rebuilt it quickly and became more
successful than ever. The other was broken by the
event and though he restarted the business he never
managed to grow it to bigger than before the fire.
In times of crisis people do make decisions to change,
and change they do. It can be transformational: a
decision is made to let the old personality die and to
create a new one.
If it can be done: why wait for a crisis?
If I want to have the best possible relationship with
my partner, would I not want to improve myself?
If I want to do my best at work, will I not try to
become more effective?
If I want to be successful, will I not do everything
possible?
If I decide "This is the way I am", am I not courting
disaster?
Many times I have heard in companies, "He is an
awkward bastard, but he is the only one we have".
And because he is the only one, he thinks that he is
allowed to behave badly. You can be sure at the first
opportunity, the company will let him go.
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A life that works or a spanner in the works
It takes so much effort to put together a life
that "works": getting through exams, finding a
partner, buying a house, having children, making the
most of the money earned, keeping all the family
happy, keeping the boss and co-workers happy,
keeping the career going upward, doing the right
things socially and in the community, and so on.
Once a piece fits, we try to glue it in place so we
can focus on other pieces to complete the puzzle, or
to restick the parts which have come unglued!
"This is the way I am" is the sum of all the parts of
the puzzle – somehow it works. And it took so long
and so much effort getting it together: who would
want to start all over again?
Maybe you would if you knew that you could handle
it with ease. When you have had an experience, you
never completely forget it, and you do it differently a
second time, with more confidence. I have had the
amazing experience of having a second child when 49
years young. Second time around - a few years on, a
little more experienced in life, a little less pressure to
create a life that "works", more clarity about what is
important in life - it is easier.
Individuals and families, I have known, who have
uprooted and gone to live in a new country have
experienced (without the crisis) so much change to
their routines and patterns of life that a new "This is
the new way I am" came out.
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"What can I do better? "
A company will ask its customers directly through a
survey how it can improve – how it can serve its
customers better. It will not allow a comfortable
existence to be taken for granted. It knows it must
continue to develop and evolve. Or, in time, its
results will deteriorate as it becomes obsolete.
Are you taking a "take me or leave me" attitude
towards life? Or, are you willing to change and evolve
so that you can make a greater contribution? We
have the technology!
Nigel coaches people like you to freedom – freedom
from limitations, freedom to do/be more, financial
freedom, emotional freedom, freedom to be yourself.
This list grows by recommendation, but only when
you find the material of use! If you enjoyed this
issue, it would be great if you would spread the word.
You can do so by forwarding this to a friend or
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Kind regards,
nigel
phone:
+386-(0)1-420-1524: +386-(0)31-674-924
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