What to do now? Discovery Book

If you are reading this then you want "more" from your life. Maybe you are one of the many people today who are feeling under pressure. Work is becoming more demanding. And that demand is being met by just working harder. It cannot go on this way. And it does not have to.

Are you one of those people who is good at your job and respected for your contribution, but you know you can do more, and you want to?

Have you established a pattern in your life (the work, the family, the things you do and where you go) and you have dreams (goals which do not yet have a time schedule) that you want to realize?

Here is your personal complimentary Discovery Book. It is designed to help you to look at what you can do for yourself to really make a difference to your life and what you make of it.

These are the areas covered in this Discovery Book:-

• being more active doing the important things;
• being more at ease with yourself at work;
• being more charismatic in getting your message across;
• being more able at setting right goals and deciding the right-sized steps;
• being more motivated for growing to your full potential.

Working on these areas will make you live your life more the way you want.

For best results print this Discovery Book out. And when you have about half an hour to one hour free quiet time read through this book. Take your time: this may be one of the important moments in your life when you allow some new perspectives to arise. Enjoy discovering what would give you more fulfilment in your life.

Kind regards,

The first step is to decide what is important. It helps to have a goal you are working towards. Then you do what takes you towards that destination (or is it a milestone?)

More success in doing important things comes when they are not limited to one area of your life (work or money), but all the areas of your life are taken into account (work, money, family, relationship, health, social life, spiritual life, home etc.).

If you decide to do more work-related important things, and you focus only on that - you may find that you are just working more, and actually sacrificing time from another area of your life - your exercise time, for example.

Which are the six most important areas of your life?

* For each area of your life give a score from 1 – 10 which indicates your current level of satisfaction (1 is low: 10 is the max.).

Every company has its own culture. The culture is a collection of common beliefs, traditions, and procedures which reflect the values of the company.

The culture is unique to each company. How you like your job depends to a large degree on whether you chose to work at a company with a culture compatible with your personality.

Many people in companies find that there are some elements of their job that they cannot handle, that cause them anxiety and stress. It can be, for example, leading meetings, speaking in public (or to a gathering) or dealing with conflict.

In many cases people believe that if they changed jobs everything would be different. Is it possible that they would just take their issue to a new workplace?

Have you thought what issues you could work on that would make you more at ease with yourself at work?

Write down three areas you could work on so that you would be more at ease with yourself at work.

* For each of the three areas give a score from 1 – 10 which indicates your current situation (1 means it is time to do something: 10 means it is not an issue of concern).

Hint: the challenge is to be at ease working with others.

Charisma is one of those things you cannot be given, you create it for yourself. You can believe charisma is a gift you are born with. You can also decide that you want the characteristics that make someone charasmatic, and you work to develop those qualities.

Having charisma will facilitate achieving the goals for your domain, while acknowledging your interdependence with other domains and contributing to the greater common good.

Let me explain. Each of us has a domain where we have some responsibility and some influence. There is a hierarchy of domains, and even the President of the United States has a higher domain (the Senate). The responsibility of a domain is given to us (though we can decide whether to take it or not). The influence, though, we have to create for ourselves.

The success of our domain will depend to a large extent on the degree to which we can influence the domains we come in contact with to support our endeavours.

Charisma is a mixture of attractiveness – charm – influence.

How can you be more attractive: in two words you become more: authentic and enthusiastic.

How to be more charming: in two words you become more: positive and open/friendly.

How to be influential: in four words you beome more: caring, knowledgable, communicative and visionary.

Is it starting to be seem a little more managable: more "Yes, I can become more charismatic"?

* Where do you stand on these eight elements of charisma? Give yourself a rating from 1 – 10 (1 means a big opportunity for development: 10 means mastered, better to spend time developing another element).

A famous study of Yale University graduates found that, back in 1953, just 3% of the graduating class had written down a set of goals for their lives. 20 years later a survey of the same group revealed that the "goal setting" students were financially worth more than the other 97% put together. This 3% also had better relationships and enjoyed better health. It was not parental wealth, degree subjects taken, career selected, ethnic or gender base or any other obvious factors that made the difference. The factor that linked all these students was that they had set clear goals.

"To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you are going, so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction." – Stephen Covey – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Without goals, you are drifting and when you drift, you are not in control. If you are not in control, then someone else is. You have relinquished your basic right to shape your own future. In doing this, you also surrender your freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to frustration, anxiety, fear and stress.

One of the principal reasons why people stop setting goals is that they set goals that they do not achieve, and then they give up. Edison made 10,000 trials (failures) before he finally invented a light bulb. The fear of being judged a failure is one of the most common "brakes" people have which stop them from persisting towards their goal.

Another difficulty with goals can be just getting started. The goal can be absolutely right for you and really challenging, but it is so big that you do not know where to start. You get overwelmed by the goal. It needs to be broken down into managable bite- size chunks.

Do you have dreams that it is time to start planning?

* Do you have goals for your life that you are working towards? Give yourself a score 1 – 10 (one is for only dreams: 10 is for goals for all areas of your life).

It is said that if a question includes the word "can", then the answer is "Yes".

Can you say to yourself, "I can be or do anything that I want"?

Do you have any limitations that are holding you back – limiting beliefs that you are imposing on yourself (for example: I am a movie actor, how could I ever become President of the United States; or, Success comes from sheer hard work; or, This is what I know and do well)?

Do you have any situations that you believe you would not be able to handle (for example: giving awards to your salesmen in a full Wembley Stadium; or, being without a job; or, taking some responsibility for a EUR 10 million recall; or, turning your pet idea into a multi-million euro business)?

What is holding you back?

What do you believe is the full extent of your potential?

* At what level do you believe you are operating at now? Give yourself a score 1 – 10 (1 means at the minimum: 10 means the max.)

That has taken you through some pretty tough questions. You should congratulate yourself on your honesty and willingness to acknowledge things as they are.

You may be saying to yourself that it is time for change or that you want to have "more" out of your life. You may be asking yourself, "Now what?", or "Yes I want to do more but what can I do, how do I start?"

The next step can be to look at Nigel's book, "Living in Company – reflections on life in the corporate world" which will give you more thought-provoking perspectives. You can find the book at the website: www.nigelbuxton.com.

Or, to talk to Nigel about the work you want to do, without commitment, and in complete confidentiality – call him on (+386) 031- 674- 924 or e-mail nb@nigelbuxton.com

Have you thought what it would be like to have answered all the questions (*) above with a 9.5 or even an 11??

Do you have an annoying little voice saying, "Can I really have such high scores?"

Remember, if the question includes the word "can ", then the answer is"YES".

This Discovery Book has been designed to give you an indication of the areas where you might work to: Do more with less

Nigel works with people in business who want to do more with less – to make a greater contribution with less effort – to be more themselves with less holding them back.

Your feed-back on this Discovery Book is welcomed: also any insights and new perspectives that you would like to share – email: nb@nigelbuxton.com

If you were given this Discovery Book from a friend, and you would like to receive your personal copy of the weekly Nigel Buxton Update of ideas about how to maximize your contribution at work, and what you get out of it. Send an e-mail to nb@nigelbuxton.com with "Subscribe" as the subject.

If you would like more information, call Nigel or contact by e-mail.

This Discovery Book may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed for all non-profit purposes without the consent of the author as long as the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included. Copyright Nigel Buxton 2005